A securely attached relationship enables a child to feel at home in the world and to interact with others as an authentic individual who knows who they are. The child interacts with new opportunities and challenges from a position of openness, curiosity, and receptiveness rather than rigidity, fear, and reactivity. 

Their whole brain is more integrated—which means they can employ the more sophisticated functions of their brain even when confronted with difficult situations and respond to their world from a position of security, demonstrating more emotional balance, more resilience, more insight, and more empathy.

As a result, the child will be not only happier but also much more socially adept, which means they’ll be better able to get along with others, collaboratively solve problems, consider consequences, think about other people’s feelings, and on and on. In short, a securely attached child is not only happier and more content but also much easier to be with and to parent. When kids feel safe, seen, and soothed, they will develop a secure attachment to their caregivers.

Feeling safe, seen, and soothed leads to security, which is based on predictability. Again, it’s not about perfection. No one can parent without making mistakes. Rather, it’s about letting your kids know that they can count on you, time and again, to show up. Their security will come when they believe that you’ll do all you can to keep them safe, that you’ll work hard to help them feel seen when they come to you, and that when things don’t go their way, you’ll be there to soothe them.

As a result, kids can approach life from an assumption that they are safe, that love and relationships will be consistent and present in their lives, and that they can handle life’s inevitable difficult moments, leaving them feeling secure and at home in the world.